Game Show Network debuted a new incarnation of I'VE GOT A SECRET yesterday. I would have missed it, but last night they decided to drop it into the 3:00 a.m. time slot usually reserved for old kinescopes of the B&W original -- which I've been watching with baited hope ever since they sneaked in Peter Lorre as a special guest.
I didn't recognize any of the new version's panelists, or the host. I don't know what's most depressing -- that one of the secrets whispered into the host's ear was "I Can Break Pencils... In My Butt Cheeks"... that the panel actually guessed it... or that the home viewer had to be treated to an end credits demonstration of this noteworthy ability. Actually, I know which is most depressing, but the ramifications of the other two are perhaps more sobering.
The original show is no holy relic (Garry Moore always strikes me as brash and rude, unable to host the show without a cigarette in his hand and blowing smoke even in the faces of child guests) and its "secrets" are usually no more than lame pretexts to half-baked entertainment, but sweet Jesus, how far we have fallen.